Academy Issues

I was going to put that those in my current location might expect Academy Issues to relate to academic discussions of neo-Kantian, post-Lockian nominalist theories of post-modernism but then common sense prevailed. Anyone who has actually conversed with me would know that I'd be more likely to declare a complete amnesty on all things chocolate than discuss such things outside of a seminar, or even within one. So what then of the 'Academy'? This refers to a school in a beautiful part of the Mediterranean that I was fortunate enough to teach in for a number of years and to some of the gems that the students came out with. The most common ones were Abraham sacrificing a 'lamp' and Jesus 'hilling' people -easy mistakes to make as the sounds are so similar.  Sadly I didn't note them all down but in fond memory of a great bunch of students below are a few sentences from tests/essays - many of which reduced me to tears (of laughter). 

1. My legs were in hospital.  

                                                

2. And the monkeys would see salvation.

                           

3. Jesus' massage had authority.  

                                   

4. (Variations on 'the cock crows')

    The crow cocks.

    The coke crows.

    The corck cocks.

    The crew cocks.

    Until the crow croaks.

5. Mary also told the angel that she will have a baby. The angel told her, 'that's right, you will give birth in the stable and the name of your son is going to be ...' (I don't remember the baby's name).                                                                        (Fred?)

6. The commandments:

            Do not mercy

            Do not purpose on other's rights

        

7. Jesus showed he was the Messiah by pouring oil on his head.

                                                                                

8. The people came to ask John what to do because their fruit trees were dying.

                                                         

9. Q: How was the Holy Spirit present at the baptism of Jesus?

    A: The duck.  

    

10. The Pharisees were the tax collectors at that time, sometimes if people were very poor and couldn't pay the taxes they were getting other things instead of money eg. cars.   

                                                                              

11. Zechariah was burning insects in the Temple.   

      

12. Abraham was flocking his shepherds in the desert when a burning bush appeared to him.