I was going to put that those in my current location might expect Academy Issues to relate to academic discussions of neo-Kantian, post-Lockian nominalist theories of post-modernism but then common sense prevailed. Anyone who has actually conversed with me would know that I'd be more likely to declare a complete amnesty on all things chocolate than discuss such things outside of a seminar, or even within one. So what then of the 'Academy'? This refers to a school in a beautiful part of the Mediterranean that I was fortunate enough to teach in for a number of years and to some of the gems that the students came out with. The most common ones were Abraham sacrificing a 'lamp' and Jesus 'hilling' people -easy mistakes to make as the sounds are so similar. Sadly I didn't note them all down but in fond memory of a great bunch of students below are a few sentences from tests/essays - many of which reduced me to tears (of laughter).